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Is Transformers: Age of Extinction Any Good?

The Age of Explosions
Transformers: Age of Extinction - Film Review by Nathan Brooks

Michael Bay returns with another robot filled film that’ll make lots of money, and prove that he still hasn’t decided to do something original with the franchise. Like make a good movie. Be prepared for little story and lots of explosions, it’s Transformers: Age of Extinction.

Story
Cade and Tessa Yeager, along with
Shane Dyson, AKA "Team Cliché" 
The story is just as mediocre as the previous movies, but bizarrely the first half of the movie is actually very story-heavy. Although it still isn’t very good. So, lets have a look at this "story". Mechanic/inventor, Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg) is lacking money, due to spending it all on useless inventions. He ends up buying this really old truck, which turns out to be Optimus Prime. Meanwhile, his daughter  – Tessa Yeager - is doing everything teenage daughters always do in movies and her dad, obviously, is really overprotective of her.

After discovering that this truck is actually a transformer, some not-S.H.I.E.L.D agents come to get Optimus from these terribly cliché characters, and then Optimus kills most of them. Because who cares about the fact that he used to be against killing humans, and is now killing them for no explained reason. After this, the team go on the run with Tessa’s boyfriend, who conveniently happens to be a racer and conveniently happens to have his racing car on him. They race away from the agents in a ridiculously Michael Bay action scene, which ends fittingly with a humongous explosion, killing Cade Yeager’s idiotic assistant. Good riddance, at least there’s one less cliché clogging up this movie. 

Now we can head on down to KSI, the company owned by Joshua Joyce (Stanley Tucci) whose decided to take a stab at creating  Transformers, with the newly discovered element, Transformium. Transformium. Just think about that for a bit. Couldn’t the writers have thought of a better name? Like, I dunno, Cybertronium? I mean, it is from Cybertron, so that would make sense, but Transformium? Really? Well whatever, I guess I can let that slide, despite how stupid it is. Anyway, to create his robots, Joyce is using parts of other Transformers, including the Autobots. Oh no, if only the Autobots had actual personalities that you could get attached to, so then we might even care!  So, Joyce's little science experiment is why those not-men in black wanted Optimus, so they could make another “better” Optimus. 

Bye, bye Optimus...
Anyway, because of all this, the Autobots, along with Cade, infiltrate KSI in, admittedly, probably the best part of the film. It still isn’t perfect, I mean it’s being performed by some of the most boring and/or annoying characters in movie history, but it’s still decently entertaining. The infiltration then fails, so the Autobots just charge right in instead (which they could’ve just done earlier) and Optimus threatens to kill Joyce. Then doesn’t kill Joyce and walks out without anybody trying to kill him. I dunno. Eventually we find out that a transformer bounty hunter, called Lockdown, is trying to cyberform (cover in ‘Transformium’) Earth. So, after Optimus fights Galvatron (a transformer made by Joyce that Megatron infected) and gets defeated by Lockdown, him and Tessa find themselves in Lockdown’s spaceship. 

Now I would describe (and comment on) the story from this point on, but there is no story to describe. Just one, horribly long action scene that goes on for so long, it’ll feel like this movie was longer than all 3 extended editions of the LOTR combined.  It’s not though, that’d be ridiculous. The Dinobots also come in for about 5 minutes at the end, so they’re a massive disappointment. Basically, the story sucks.
Story: 5.5/10

Characters
Don’t be stupid, this is a Transformers movie, the only characters we're going to get are a bunch of cliché and/or annoying humans and (if we're lucky) an almost story arch for Optimus Prime.
Characters: 2/10

Music
Eeeeeeh.
Music: 6.5/10

Looks
Okay, now you have to compliment this movie. 
But I really don’t want to.
But you have to.
But-
No buts.  
Oh… alright.
Lockdown and his hilarious gun face.
This movie looks great. There, I said it. The CGI is very well done and very realistic looking. The action is very good as well, even if there’s way too much of it. The design of the Autobots are easier to tell apart than the previous instalments, although I still have no idea which Decepticon was who. Lockdown is, also, extremely silly looking (yet kind of awesome at the same time), which is probably down to his gun face. This is the only department that this film does well and it does do it very well. So, well done movie.
Looks: 9.5/10

Final Thoughts
This film is exactly what everyone expected; boring, stupid, loud, overflowing with action and ridiculously explosive. It’s story is boring and only lasts half a movie, the human characters are cliché and/or annoying and the transformers have no character whatsoever, apart from a bit of a story arch for Optimus. The action is very good, but there’s just so much of it you’ll fall asleep, which is definitely not what a film is supposed to do to you. This movie is obviously not very good. Is it the worst film of the summer? It’s certainly the worst I’ve seen, but admittedly I did spare myself from watching Pudsey the Dog the Movie. Only watch this film if you like mindless action and explosions. Lots of explosions. 

Boom

Overall: 6/10

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